Thursday, April 19, 2012
Shattered Bliss [4/20]
I look into the depths of my soul as I wonder exactly what sorrow I have discovered. The world has a way of throwing a person head first and body limp into the more earth shattering of "truths". The "truths" that in the wide scope of things were more than likely best left unsaid. It is crazy that in all honesty I rather not have concrete evidence that at times you may fantasize about another woman because at times I find myself fantasizing about another man? Is the real reason I would be hurt by the actual proof is because now as a woman I have to face it. I've come face to face with your real live fantasy and that in itself hurts because as a woman I know have to compare myself to every aspect of her. Is it weird that although I know physical actions didn't happen that the very thought of this person, this woman on your mind makes me sick to my stomach because she was made a reality? I don't believe it is. I witnessed this feeling and although it wasn't my personal situation I could relate. I could sense the hurt, pain, and humiliation. I honestly felt bad. What made me feel worse is that it was another black woman tearing down another black woman just because she wasn't getting her way. As a woman I am already at a disadvantage but as a black woman I feel like there are no breaks in life for me. I associated with the most negative and callus of women just because society doesn't know to portray us as anything better. I'm characterized as a bitter black women before I even have a chance to open mouth, shallow and uneducated before I can take a solid breathe all because a few of us decide to keep permeating the stereotypes that will forever hold us back because we all it. It is sad that as a black woman to be seen as strong means angry instead of the enduring peacefulness that was demonstrated by women such as Coretta Scott King, Michelle Obama, and many other positive black women in the public eye. It is sad that the young black girls of my generation look up to women like Kat Stacks, Evelyn Lozada, and other women of color in the media who demonstrates how not to act. When have little girls getting video taped and brutally assaulting one another like it's ok. Young women barely out of middle school making sex tapes. Girls considering themselves the perfect "wifey" material because they can roll a blunt and some fool still on similac told them that their sex game was spectacular. Yet we as black women do nothing but bicker and backlash but wonder why the men in our own race degrade us. And in no way am I justifying the degradation coming on their part but can I really blame them? They are only doing what we allow them to do. What we as black women have told them is acceptable and that saddens me. I'll continue to pray for us because something has got give. I have been body rocked out my ignorant bliss. Yours will be coming soon.
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There's a lot to this blog post.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think of influences of black women, I think of a few things: living environment, the media, and relationships we have with other. All in all these different aspects conclude society.
To ask can we not blame men (the way they see us) is questionable. I agree, the media paints a distant and vague picture of not just black women but everyone, rather cultured-wise, racially, gender-wise, etc.. But we all have to remember that as hard cold as the media is, a lot of worldly expectations begin in the home as well. That's why it's so important to look at what we teach our brothers, sisters, sons and daughter. Because the foundation begins within the home. The family should be helping each other lay down principles about appearances and stereotypes and other expectations. So as much as we can blame the media, our living environment is just as important (especially for younger children). Then we have to ask ourselves, who are our family and friends. What kind of relationships do we linger around and do they truly define apart of who we are.
Truth on that point is, people want to be loved. Simply put. They want to be admired and thought about but some people go about this process the wrong way. And if it's desperation, then they will find all the wrong escape routes just to be "loved". I think the age group that can be influenced the most are the ages of adolescents. Because at this point they are at that age where relationships really matter. Sometimes we choose the wrong group of friends and they influence these young kids.
Truth is, the masses are to lazy to be critical thinkers. They are too lazy to ask "what if" or point out things that "don't feel right". The media is hypnotizing and is building a faulty, high-pedestal version of what women should look like and what they should be doing. They call it tv "programming" for a reason. Many people are too busy being consumed and programed by the media that they expect their lives and everyone in reality to act just like that.
We can blame the men or we could instill confidence, knowledge and a sense of self in females at a young age. We can rise above the "programming" and become critical thinkers and embrace the diversity of beauty because it isn't just the nikki minaj, kat stacks and halle berry beauty we see. Beauty isn't just appearance either and that's another idea that people mix up.
I don't think it's necessarily the media to blame. Parents are not raising their children anymore and allowing the media too. Some responsibility has to be taken on our part as women on how we carry ourselves. How we raise our children. How we present ourselves. Far too many times I've witnessed us play the victim to issues we have control over. We present ourselves as angry and bitter than why wouldn't the media portray as such. Many times we incriminate ourselves and it's sad. You are right there are not enough critical thinkers now. People don't question enough. You are right TRUE BEAUTY isn't skin deep but past that. The beauty of the mind is the one most wasted. We have to start wanting better for ourselves for the ppl after us. At the end of the day ppl have grown wrecklace with their lives and that saddens me.
ReplyDeleteTrust me, the media is partly to blame as so the parents.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a little girl, all I saw on tv was straight, silky beautiful white women. And because that was all I saw on television, I was hypnotized by the hype and therefore I wanted to be white. I remember my mother told me to be proud of my blackness but I didn't appreciate it until years after. It took years and lots of maturity to grow to love my skin color and the beauty of a variety of things (not just appearances). And it was because people around me and the media were beating inside my head that the ideal beauty is biased, close-minded and one-sided. That beauty is only one kind of beauty.
I show a lack of respect towards mainstream media. Most networks are paid by big corporations that care about selling emotions and sex. If you can sell those two things you can convince people that they need to be 20 pounds lighter, light-skinned, straight haired, flawless, slutty and dumb. And for men, they are the targets of carrying a large role of "masculinity". Men themselves are perceived in the media as a macho men, who never cry, who are always tough and are stoic bi-polar beings. And if they buy certain razors or perfumes they will always get the girls.
But media is programming the minds of the masses. That's why it's so hard for certain people to move past it, especially when it is frequently pushed inside their minds and they are exposed to it. That's what the corporations want. They don't want us to be critical thinkers. I'm just glad I rose above that and finally woke up.